Stories Published by 'DragonCobolt'

Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 15

In Which Our Hero Studies Elves.

August 21 st , 1885 If there existed a better time to traverse the Hadrian pass and stride through the Glimmering Woods than August in the year 1885, I was sure that it had not come to Arcanum since the last Age of Wonders. I was concerned at first, when the Hadrian Pass turned out to be a treacherous crossing plagued by immense waterfalls and shifting, smoothed pathways of stone and...

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Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 14

In which our Hero is Stymied by the Scientific Establishment.

July 10 th , 1885 Stillwater, The United Kingdom I came into the Temple of Geshtianna with Virginia to my left side and 'Magnus' to my right, Sally and Gillian taking up the rear. I dragged behind me the statue of the cult's goddess, covered with a tarp to prevent anyone from noticing both the bared breasts (not exactly appropriate for dragging through a village's streets) and...

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Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 13

In Which Our Hero Rescues a Gnome and Finds a Statute.

July 9 th , 1885 The town of Stillwater appeared, after the past week of marching through sticky, humid temperature and the occasional flurry of summer rains, like a paradise upon the gods green earth. I, Virginia, Maggie, Sally, Gillian, the ever faithful Dogmeat and the members of the Stonecutter clan who had decided to emigrate back to the Wheel Clan all trudged into town stinking...

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Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 12

In Which Our Hero reveals his Origins.

Author's Note: So, I wrote this while sick. Coughing, sore throat, runny nose, the WORKS! So, it's a bit shorter than previous chapters and future chapters. For this, I am sorry. But if you feel any up-swelling of ire for this, know, I am being punished even as you think it with my sickness. Bleh. The Tale of Resh Craig June 4 th , 1876 _Somewhere on the Morbihan...

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Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 11

In Which Our Hero comes Face to Face with Arronax.

April 30 th , 1885 Ashbury, the United Kingdom The sea salt and fresh wind off the coast mixed with the scent of fish, of tar, of sailcloth, of unwashed sailors, and of sewage to create a pungent mixture in my nose -- but it was all worth it to see the wide eyed expression on Cynthia Boggs' face as she walked off the gangplank of the Gypsy Queen and onto the mainland of...

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Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 10

In Which Our Hero is Entrapped in an Orgy.

A momentary frisson of fear ran along my spine as I sprawled in the small tent, my arms lashed above my head with leather bindings and my eyes covered with a thick binding of cloth. I wriggled upon a fur mattress and strained my ears, but all I could hear was the heavy footfalls of Sally Mead Mug as she walked about me in the small tent. I swore I could hear the sound of her palms rasping together...

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Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 09

In Which Our Hero Suffers Amnesia.

Sand gritted against my face and for a time, I did not know who I was, nor where I was, nor why I was. Water washed against my feet and I simply lay there in a daze, blinking slowly as light filtered into my vision and I saw the broad expanse of a pale white beach. The waves that lapped at my feet were frothing and white, and the distant horizon curved into oblivion. I closed my eyes and a name...

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Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 08

In Which Our Hero Sets Sail for the Isle of Despair.

The crisp and chill morning air turned the breath of me and Virginia into streamers of fog as we sprawled together on a pile of clothing and grass. Dew had collected around us, and the enchantment that Virginia had cast to ensure we would not freeze as we lay in our natural state had worn off with the coming of the dawn. And so, the two of us were beginning to collect ice on the parts of our...

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Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 07

In Which Our Hero Delves into the Black Mountains Mines!

"Come one! Come all! See the world's most intelligent orc and other exotic wonders, gathered from the farthest reaches of Arcanum to be viewed by you! Yes, you!" I paused in the sidewalk, then turned to face the twelve year old who had just thrust his cane at me. The street urchin had been set upon an empty crate of Proudfoot Stout and was waving a cane in the air while wearing ratty old...

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Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 06

In Which Our Hero Seduces a Married Woman; Confronts MrBates.

IFS ZEPHYR MIRACLE! SURVIVORS TELLS ALL! Half-Orc Walks Away from Fiery Death! _Greetings, fellow Tarantians! It is I, Victor Wright, your faithful and vigilant editor, bringing you an exclusive story that only a paper of this breadth and quality could possibly do! Just yesterday, our humble offices were visited by none other than the sole survivor of the IFS Zephyr blimp...

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Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 05

In Which Our Hero is caught betwixt two Fortune Tellers.

Once we were safely ensconced in the inn, with a room to ourselves and a chance to wipe off blood and bits of muck, the young dwarven lass who had become a part of our little party took a chance and explained herself. She had put the false beard back onto her face for the trip from the basement of the nightmarish P. Schuyler and Son's to the inn, but now that we were safe from prying eyes, Maggie...

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Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 04

In Which Our Hero Does Battle with Foul Necromancers.

January 27 th , 1885 Tarant, United Kingdom Our little weather beaten, disheveled trio had set a good, steady pace through the vastness of wilderness between the town of Shrouded Hills and the city of Tarant, which sat astride the Hadrian River like some ungainly colossus. While those weeks had been rife with ambushes by small raiding parties of kites, the occasional ferocious...

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Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 03

In Which Our Hero makes Love to Ghosts; An assassin strikes!

Author's Note: Since I'm a hideous incompetent who should be whipped through town with a leather belt, I have made two unforgivable errors. Firstly, the first chapter of this series erroneously stated that it begins June 3 rd when this adventure begins on January 3 rd ! Secondly, I stated that there was a Kingdom of Caladon. Alas! The city _of Caladon is the capital of the Kingdom of...

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Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 02

In which Our Hero makes tender Love to a Bereaved Priestess.

There are many tall tales written in the popular magazines of Tarant and Caladon about life on the edge of Arcanum. Daring do on Thanos, trips to the Vendigroth Wastes, eking out a bold and brave and free living on the Morbihan plains, with nothing but your gun to keep you safe from the invariably savage tribes of orcs that would then be slaughtered by the dozens. Those tales, for some reason,...

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Arcanum - Of Steamwork and Magic Ch. 01

The journey begins with a lowly passenger aboard an airship.

June 3 rd 1885 Somewhere above The Stonewall Mountains If there was a sound more appropriate for calculating the lifting capacity of an ellipsoid roughly eight hundred feet in length than the music from a string quartet, I was not sure what it might be. I scratched away with a ballpoint pen I had purchased in Caladon from its inventor. He had gone on at length about the...

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Brash and the Schrodinger Snare Ch. 10

Brash the Dragon saves the galaxy! But does he bone Cindi?

Brash the Dragon hit the ground face first, skidded three meters, and came to a stop with his feet curled up against his shoulder blades. He lay there, groaning for a few seconds, then rolled around until he was merely on his face. "Ouchatronic..." he muttered. Then he sat up and gasped. The world had shifted. His perspective had changed. For most mortal minds, it...

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Never Let Grandma Buy Gifts

Henry gets a gift he always wanted - a chance to be special.

If I could blame anyone for this nightmare of a holiday, it would be Jennifer Hale and my grandma. Now, you may wonder why an acclaimed voice actress would take time out of her Christmas schedule to ensure that my holiday was spent getting thoroughly fucked. Well, that's just the thing. She didn't. For those of you who have never played the seminal classic of our time, Mass Effect ,...

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Brash and the Schrodinger Snare Ch. 09

Brash gets FLYING ROLLER SKATES. Vrooooom!

The first thing I did once I was out of the medical bay was sprint forward, extrude my a cybernetic access spike, and smash it, knuckle first, into the nearest computer access port. Before you ask 'hey, Brash, how do you get so awesome?' the answer is I look up to my parents and work out my awesome muscles a lot. But if you ask the slightly more pertinent question of 'hey, didn't the evil jerk Dr....

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Brash and the Schrodinger Snare Ch. 08

Is all lost for our heroes!?

So, you ever want to know what to do when you're stuck on a undead-infested, formerly drowish space-frigate and your wife has been kidnapped and also your only friend is actually an evil dwarf in a gimp suit? Well, firstly, grats, dude! You're living one crazy, out there life! Nose-Five! A nose-five, in case you aren't a dragon, is where you bump your nose against another dragon's nose. All...

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Brash and the Schrodinger Snare Ch. 07

Brash takes on the Lich King!

I finished using my sick rad dragon shapeshifting powers to pull bullets and stitch up the holes on the last of the civilian gnomes who hadn't gotten to cover in time, then flipped my cute butt over an overturned table, landing between two United Nations Marines. The UNMC was pretty swoll and rad and all sorts of cool words – and one of the reasons why was that the human race had, for years,...

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Brash and the Schrodinger Snare Ch. 06

Brash fucks Alexandress, the Vampire Princess!

Was there anything better in this grazy galaxy (the g makes it alliterative!) than being petted by your vampire fiancee while shapeshifted to look like a super fluffy kitten? Yes! And that would be being petted by your vampire fiancee while shapeshifted to look like a super fluffy kitten while your friendly neighborhood space princess gives you exposition and also you have hot chocolate. I nosed...

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Brash and the Schrodinger Snare Ch. 05

Brash adds a second girl to his harem! But who could it be?

Author's Note: So, uh, I wrote that Brash took Blackheart's gun in the previous climax. That was a lie, told to me by some tricksy hobbits. Blackheart still has his pistol aimed at Kira's head. The hobbits responsible have been punished. * Blackheart gaped at me. "I was waiting for, like, a whole year to use that line," I said, cheerfully, twiddling my psi-sword slightly,...

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Brash and the Schrodinger Snare Ch. 04

Brash the Dragon versus the Vampires! Also, some flirting.

"So, I gotta say," I said. "This vampire planet is pretty nice." "Brash, you're saying that through a hologram projected by a floating skull ," Princess Kira said, leaning forward to look me in the eyes. "Via a cybernetic brain connection while you yourself are buried in a hermetically sealed stasis vault while waiting a death sentence." "Pff!" I made my tiny holographic...

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Brash and the Schrodinger Snare Ch. 03

Brash adds the first girl to his first harem!

"Wait," Cindi said, her hands holding up in an unconscious emulation of the guy from the alien channel talking about aliens. Like, you know, the image used on all those memes that came right after first contact where they replaced 'aliens' with 'dragons.' "Why the heck aren't we going to his parents?" She thrust her finger at me, which made me wave at her excitedly. "That is a good...

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Brash and the Schrodinger Snare Ch. 02

Brash flirts with a candy golem and fights some Mind Flayers.

I was standing in a corridor. The floor was felt green carpeting and the walls were narrow and tall. It was an old house, like. Super old. Musty too. I sniffed at the air as I walked forward, looking around curiously. Hey! I was also not in my human form! I was in my dragon form -- a small, cat-shaped, cat-sized, black scaled dragony ball of cuteness that bore zero resemblance to a cat. Well, not...

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Brash and the Schrodinger Snare

Brash the Dragon's first adventure begins!

*** The FIVE TALON EMPIRE has fallen! The vile blue dragon, XOSH, overthrew the PRISMATIC EMPEROR and sought to create a galaxy ruled by only evil dragons. However, he was stopped by in his tracks by the most unlikely of races: Humanity. Using their technology and stolen magic, the UNITED NATIONS successfully defeated the CHROMATIC DOMINION and slew XOSH. _One of the heroes...

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The Naked Weapon Pt. 11

Abby and crew save the day! How? With an orgy of course!

A storm was brewing on the horizon. Vast clouds of roiling black clouds, shot through with lightning and spreading a shimmering haze of blazing hot rainfall. I had a sinking feeling that even a torrential downpour wouldn't do much to the muggy heat of Doyen Prime. However, that whole storm had nothing on the glare that was coming my way from Lt. Amelia. Amelia had been the first person I...

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The Naked Weapon Pt. 10

How will the team go on without Abby?

Ali smashed her hands onto the table in the meeting room. The table, unused to being hit by a Doyen Princess who was capable of telekinetically enhancing her strength, shattered in half. It was a cheap plastic table, after all. Everything in the human ship was cheap. Ally had told her that this was because, well, the humans had been funding this project in secret, to keep mass human hysteria on...

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The Naked Weapon Pt. 09

Abby and crew make some unexpected allies!

After being strapped to an atomic bomb by a cackling supervillain, running into microbes that could induce a jaunt through the astral plane, and getting an alien space princess for a girlfriend, you'd think that I'd be out of things to find utterly surreal. Heck, I'd taken banging a sexy spider chick in stride. Gigantic lizard monster? Pff! I could handle that. Galaxy sprawling alien slave...

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The Naked Weapon Pt. 08

Abby and crew fight not one but TWO giant monsters!

"So, uh, before anyone does anything that they might regret," I said, lifting up my hands. Several Doyen paladins were standing before me and the rest of Bravo Squad (and Vicky Smith, but I wasn't sure that she counted yet ) and each of them had their psi-swords crackling and sparking. Behind them, the civilians were rapidly fleeing the interior city. Clearly, they knew what was supposed to...

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